Friday, June 1, 2007

The Perils of Global Warming

In My Apartment:

Adrian, it’s so hot in your living room! I’m getting sweaty now, this is your fault! Fix your aircon! Now, my california raisins are protruding on my tight-fitted baby tee, which I bought in Baby Gap. No I don’t have big and long nips. I forgot to wear a bra, you idiot. Brown, what do you mean brown? It’s pink, see! Baby pink!

Dots, what dots? These are normal even for those who haven’t given birth yet, dumb-ass!

Hair, what hair? I didn’t grow there. It came from my eyebrows! What do you mean I don’t have eyebrows! I still have 5 strands on each side. You are so inexperienced, jerk!

No milk for you tonight!

In My Office Room:

Mr. Endrian, it’s so humid in your room! Why do you always have to open the windows and let the warm draft come inside? I’ll close the windows. Ahhhh, why is the wind suddenly blowing hard!? Ahhhh, my super-micro-mini balloon skirt from Osh Kosh is being blown away. Close your eyes Mr. Endrian, close your eyes, I don’t want you to see my red fiber-optic g-string.

Ahhhh, I have to tip toe to reach the window lock! Stop staring and help me Mr. Endrian.

Oh, oh, oh, oh gosh, oh my gosh, my period is coming…

In My Car:

Adrian, is your car AC working? It’s so hot! I don’t want to open the windows, it’s so polluted outside can’t you see?
Can I just take of my leggings? I feel itchy with all the sweat from my thighs. Oh by the way my leggings are from Baby Guess. Huh, where can I take it off? My looong legs are soooo itchy now! Scratching on my leggings doesn’t help much.

Can you just park somewhere and let me just scratch my itch?

Yes, that’s a good spot! Ok, let us get it over with.

Oh my! Uhhhmmm, can I borrow your Mach 3 shaver please?


Clare said...

Yeah hot hot..lets have our fav Kuai Ling Gao herbal cooling jelly!yummy:)

cristob tosnas said...

Save the Turtles! One of the many herbs used to make that jelly is from turtle shells. Poor Leonardo, Michaelangelo, Raphael and Donatello!